Monday, July 31, 2006
IF the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
IF people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
WHEN the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,"
five guys and two women stand up.
IF opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
IF a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
IF the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
WHEN in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
IF Baptism is referred to as "branding".
IF high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
IF people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
IF the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
IF the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
IF the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
IF instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
IF the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
IF the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill".
IF "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
IF the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"
Thursday, July 27, 2006
This is a cool opportunity to literally save a life. The Living Water International folks are challenging us to drink nothing but water for 2 weeks, and to donate the money we would have spent on soft drinks, etc. to the effort to provide clean water in places around the globe where it doesn't exist.
Anyone want to join me? Together, we could pool our $, and make a difference. Click the pic above to go to the site. Click here to watch a video that might stimulate your interest.
This article struck a chord with me, and you should read it. It's from Christianity Today and is entitled Another Point of View: Evangelical Blindness on Lebanon. Make sure you read the opening disclaimer, and keep in mind that this is simply another point of view, not necessarily mine. I'm not smart enough or informed enough to really have a point of view on this and many things (oddly enough, that doesn't seem to stop some people from having the "definitive" answer to any and all things!)
Thursday, July 20, 2006
I've had my share of rather random brushes with fame. But this one was the triple whammy. There's a lot to the story, and I won't bore you with too much minutiae, but I happened to be in Great American Ballpark last night for the Reds/Mets game. It was a long night - a lengthy rain delay, hot & sticky, etc. But then in walks Dennis Miller, Ron Howard, and Tom Hanks. We were fortunate to see them early on, before the masses caught on that they were in attendance. They walked right by us on at least 3 occasions. I did a polite wave and said "Mr. Miller" and received a wave in return. Unfortunately, my camera was not working properly to do me much good, and when I could get it to cooperate, the thugs/security (which I understand is very necessary for these kind of people...the throngs of folks trying to get near them was kinda funny to watch) wouldn't let you get too close. So I got a couple of great shots of the back of their heads! Anyway, my son actually stuck his hand out as the entourage was leaving and got the customary "hand bump" from Hanks. Pretty cool. Somewhat larger than life, but in a regular guy kinda way. The pic above is from the Cincinnati Enquirer story, with a link to the interview...
The crowd was kinda funny, once the word was out that Hanks & Co. were in attendance. When things would get quiet enough, you would hear someone yell "Wilson!" or "Run, Forest, Run." I think I even heard an "Opie Cunningham" reference (from back when SNL was funny). Interestingly, no one mentioned The Terminal...though the length of the game last night (Reds pulled it out with 3 runs in the bottom of the 8th) started to feel like The Terminal.
On a much more exciting & interesting note, I snagged my first-ever foul ball in the top of the 9th inning (at approx. 12:35 am) off the bat of Julio Franco, who I think has been playing baseball since its invention. The smile on my son's face when I placed that in his glove.....priceless!