Thursday, August 31, 2006

Irony


Sometimes, the irony just provides the humor. Couldn't help but laugh when I saw the name of the actress who plays Mother Teresa....

Miracles Never Cease

I'm not sure which is more frightening...that someone thought these porcelin items would be a good idea to produce, or that there are those out there looking to buy stuff like this. But what is REALLY funny and disturbing is the "entire collection" of Jesus porcelin figurines. Go ahead, name the sport...you can find a Jesus to match. My favorites? Its a toss-up between golf & martial arts. Go ahead...do your own shopping and pick your fave! I'm disappointed that curling didn't make the list...

You can view these "works of art" here...
(Apparently, another funny tid-bit...all of the "children" in these figurines are Caucasion. Not to worry...more politically correct figures are on the way. Wonder if they'll stick with the Caucasion Jesus, or if they'll make him look, well, like a Jewish middle-east resident??)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

rapture

Are you ready??

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Political Science 101

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.Your neighbor has none.You feel guilty for being successful.Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICANISM
You have two cows.Your neighbor has none.So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.The government seizes both and provides you with milk.You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.Your stock goes up
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.You go to lunch and drink wine.Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.You break for lunch.Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You have some vodka.You count them and learn you have five cows.You have some more vodka.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.They go into hiding.They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.The cow is schizophrenic.Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.The cow asks permission to be cut in half! .The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.Everyone votes for the best-looking one.Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.Some people vote for both.Some people vote for neither.Some people can't figure ! out how to vote at all.Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.They make real California cheese.Only five speak English.Most are illegals.Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Another Tribe, Another New Testament

I'm a big fan and believer in the little-known efforts around the world to translate the Bible into native languages. There are a number of groups I'm aware of that work in this important arena, including Pioneer Bible Translators, Wycliffe Bible Translators, and New Tribes. I have acquaintences & friends in the first two organizations, who labor in Indonesia and Papau New Guinea. Here's a short story from Mission Network News about a people group that will soon receive its own New Testament....

Papua New Guinea (MNN)--New Tribes Mission reports success in a Papua New Guinea New Testament translation project that has lasted seven years. The completed efforts arrived in the form of 15-hundred copies of a beautifully bound Asengseng New Testament. The New Testaments will soon be on their way for a two-month voyage to West New Britain in Papua New Guinea. Their arrival will occasion a joyous celebration for four Asengseng elders -- Giaman, Krosli, Wisnamli and Tawin -- 20 Bible teachers, and the believers in ten local churches who are eagerly waiting to get the new Book in their hands.In preparation for this, Bible teachers last year began working toward chronological teaching at Elihi, another village in Asengseng. Pray for the literacy classes which are continuing in various villages throughout Asengseng - both teachers and students.

If you would, pray for those working in villages around the world, learning languages, teaching literacy, and slowly making God's Word come alive.